Vibrator Review 2 – Lelo INA 2

Guess what?  I got another sex toy to review from The Toy Closet.  I was excited to do my homework, but I had to get ready to go to a show.  One thing that was especially interesting about this toy is that it’s ReChArGeAbLe!  :-D  I got home from the show.  I opened the package and looked at the box.  I thought it was so pretty, so, so pretty.  And it was my favorite color, purple.  Yep, I was biased from the start!  What I did not do was plug it in to charge before I left for the show.  Which was fine because I was tired and wanted to get to bed anyway *side eye*…  *Sigh*.  I plugged it in.

While it was charging, I checked out what was in the box.  A carrying case, lube (glycerine & paraben free), a warranty and an instruction manual were in the box.  A charger was, of course, in there as well.  I promise, I have never before thought about registering a toy.  Now I have.  There was a product registration card.  I also, don’t typically use toys with penetration.  I had to wait until the following night before I  had time to test it out.

For the sake of research, I pushed through, so to speak.  I was curious about that shape.   There are 8 vibration settings as well as intensity control.  Is this the “luxury vehicle” of sex toys?  I can say that whether you do use penetration or not, it is a fun toy to have.  It’s like a sex toy, video game controller and you are in the command center.  You know, in a sexy time kind of way.  Yes, it is fully water proof as well.  Perhaps, one of you could test it out in water and let me know how it was?  In the bath, perhaps?  I always think that fully water proof  is a great option, especially if you take showers with your partner.  I don’t need details: a yay or nay will do!!!

The battery life seems to be excellent.  I haven’t charged it for days and have been able to use, I mean, test it out a time or two or three or…  Thumbs up to the Lelo.

Guess what else?  The Toy Closet will be available at the Brown Girls Burlesque “She’s A-Shake-A-Ning” show in Phili, Washington DC & New York City this weekend Mar 21st – 23rd.  If we won’t be in your city Toy Closet can be reached 24/7 online.

Looking forward to seeing you this weekend!

ESSENCE REVEALED - Essence Revealed is first generation Bajan born & raised in Boston.  She got her BFA at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts and MA at NYU’s Steinhardt School of Education.  Her writing has appeared places such as $pread Magazine, Corset Magazine, BurlesqueBible.com and 21st Century Burlesque.  She now performs & teaches nationally and internationally both solo and as a member of Brown Girls Burlesque.  Her favorite thing to do besides reading is to lay on the beach in Barbados to rest up for a night of calypso dancing.  Help Essence get to the Milan Burlesque Awards!

Strip Clubs, Why Do Men Go?

I was recently asked why men go to strip clubs.  It was a text message and I was responding in way too many parts.  So, I decided to write it out here.  I think this question is similar to what kind of woman strips?  There is no “typical” customer as there is no “typical” stripper.  There are many reasons why the men who enjoy strips clubs go.  I suppose, though, the short answer is in the same way that the kind of  woman who strips is the kind of woman who needs to earn money, men go to strip clubs to see T & A.  Some more A than T and vice versa but you get my drift.

1) Men are highly visual.  The Club, the endearing nick name for strip clubs, are chock full of visual stimulation.  There are beautiful women.  The attire depends on the club.  It could be long evening gowns.  It could be nothing more than coordinated bra’s and panties.  Then there is everything in between.  At any rate, it’s a sight to see.  Numerous women dressed up with full hair and make-up.  Nails done and, hopefully, smelling good.  There are usually big screen televisions showing sporting events.  There are cocktail waitresses bringing you your cocktail of choice.  Or if you choose to sit at the bar you’ll be catered to there.  The folks at the door welcome you with open arms, if the club is doing their business the right way.  No one is going to tell a strip club customer that they are being disrespectful for looking at numerous beautiful women.

2) A break from societal expectations is enjoyed.  The conversations had with dancers and staff can range from sports & current events (personal or news worthy) on down to sharing the raunchiest of stories, jokes and fantasies.  It could be a conversation about the divorce that he’s going through right now.  No one at the club knows the people in your life so you can say what you want.  There is no need to worry about what type of talk is socially acceptable.  There’s the company of beautiful women and dances.  I’ve spoken to guys who enjoyed coming to strip clubs because they are shy and they know dancers will approach them first.  This is another nice change of pace for men.  Traditionally, men are expected to be the initiator in the real world.  (Though, ladies, I hear that you making the first move is more than welcomed contrary to traditional beliefs.)  And after a conversation, she may seductively take off her clothes just for you.  If a dancer isn’t digging your chat she most likely will politely walk away.  A.  Why would she want other potential customers see her be hostile.  B. A successful night often depends on attitude so why would she want someone to take her away from her happy space.  C.  There’s the dressing room where dancers can vent, share experiences, give warnings or accolades, etc.  So the main floor is like a safe zone unless he gets way out of hand.

3) He’s treated like king of the castle.  One thing you can expect to be stroked is your ego.  One night, I sat talking with a customer while he ate his steak.  At one point he stopped and said, “You know, I go to work, my employees don’t appreciate me.  I go home and I’m taken for granted.  I come in here and I get treated like a king.  The door men know my name.  Beautiful women talk to me.  Everyone wants to make sure I’m having a good time…”  He shook his head then continued with his meal.  After being in relationships or a marriage for a while, messages go from “I wanna do xyz (insert sexy, flirty action here) to you…” into ,”Can you get some milk on your way in?”  I know I’ve been guilty of it.

If  a guy with expendable income is into strip clubs, this can be a very welcomed part of his day.  However, the reasons why are wide and varied.  Some may go because they had a good day and want to celebrate.  Perhaps, he had a hard day and wants to get away for a moment.  Maybe his partner is sick and he doesn’t want to cheat on her.  Maybe he cannot stand his partner and wants an escape.  It could be a business meeting, birthday or a bachelor party. It could be “boys night out”.  It could be he enjoys the conversation and company of a particular dancer(s). One thing is clear.  Either it is a man’s thing or it is not.  But for those who enjoy it, you never can pin the reason why on just one thing…  Well, except the T & A of course!

ESSENCE REVEALED - Essence Revealed is first generation Bajan born & raised in Boston.  She got her BFA at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts and MA at NYU’s Steinhardt School of Education.  Her writing has appeared places such as $pread Magazine, Corset Magazine, BurlesqueBible.com and 21st Century Burlesque.  She now performs & teaches nationally and internationally both solo and as a member of Brown Girls Burlesque.  Her favorite thing to do besides reading is to lay on the beach in Barbados to rest up for a night of calypso dancing.  Help Essence get to the Milan Burlesque Awards!

Brown Girl’s Burlesque: MAR 21st – MAR 23rd Phili, DC, NY

BGB All-Stars Spring A-Shaken-A-Ning from Brown Girls Burlesque on Vimeo.

ESSENCE REVEALED - Essence Revealed is first generation Bajan born & raised in Boston.  She got her BFA at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts and MA at NYU’s Steinhardt School of Education.  Her writing has appeared places such as $pread Magazine, Corset Magazine, BurlesqueBible.com and 21st Century Burlesque.  She now performs & teaches nationally and internationally both solo and as a member of Brown Girls Burlesque.  Her favorite thing to do besides reading is to lay on the beach in Barbados to rest up for a night of calypso dancing.  Help Essence get to the Milan Burlesque Awards!

Minneapolis Burlesque Festival

Source: etsy.com via Essence on Pinterest

I took part in my second burlesque festival this month – The Minneapolis Burlesque (MBF).  I headed off to the Twin Titties in the dead of winter all for the love of burlesque.  It was -30 degrees with the wind chill factor the first day I arrived.  This turned out to be alright.  MBF had organized for us to be picked up directly from the airport and a place to stay.  Knowing I’d be in a cozy home later made me feel warmer from the start.  The temperature rose to 8 degrees one day, man did that feel balmy!  When I landed in NY the 25 degrees we had going on dern near called for flip-flops as far as my body was concerned.

The Thursday night kick off show went off with a bang.  Everyone looked like they were having such a great time on stage.  A green room area with two large that screens were set up.  Every night of the festival participants could enjoy snacks back stage and cheer each other on.  Good thing too because every show was sold out.  There were just standing room only tickets available.  I got to hang out and chat with performers whom I’ve admired from the interwebs since starting burlesque.  I think I managed to not be a creepy fan girl.

I’d been to Minneapolis once before with Brown Girls Burlesque.  I was excited to see all of the performers who I’d met at our Soul Train vs. Solid Gold show.  I stayed with the lovely and talented Josephine Belle and her girlfriend.  They were the ultimate hosts.  I truly can’t say enough thanks to them for making me feel so welcomed in their home.  I’m excited to get to show Josephine a great time on the east coast when she comes to NY to perform in The Brown Girls Burlesque All Star Shows later this month.

Friday night brought more great performances as did the early Saturday show.  A visit by His Purple Majesty may or may not have happened .  I performed in the late show Saturday night.  It was so much fun on the stage.  The audience clearly came to see burlesque and loves it.  My second festival has truly spoiled me.  One of the best things was being able to see such a mix of classic and neo-burlesque all in one festival every single night!

The facade of the Central train station in Milan, Italy. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Next up for me this festival season is heading to the Great Burlesque Expo in Boston to perform at the Main Event Saturday night.  A few months later I’ll be heading to Milan to compete in the Milan Burlesque Awards.  Well, with a little help from my friends.  I’ll be launching an IndieGoGo Campaign March 8th to help me get there.  Please do give or share when you see it!

Source: thepinupnoire.tumblr.com via Essence on Pinterest

Femme Collar Realness!!!

If ya gonna be collared, why not like this?

Source: kaboodle.com via Essence on Pinterest

Or This!

Source: en.dawanda.com via Essence on Pinterest

Burlesque Valentine’s Weekend & More!

Hello! First, I hope everyone is having an excellent Lucky 2013 as we wrap up the first quarter of this year of the snake! We are in the month of Love. I’ve teamed up with my Brown Girls Burlesque sister, the lovely Sweet Lorraine, to bring another installment of her Shades of Burlesque. Shades of Burlesque is NY’s only all black female burlesque show. It will be hosted by the dynamic nightlife duo The Illustrious Blacks. Shades is also a Time Out New York Critics Pic In addition to our $15/adv tickets, we have$40 VIP tickets available which include table service, chocolate covered strawberries and two free drinks. The party does not stop: There is a FREE after party in Brooklyn on Friday night Feb 15th! The Illustrious Blacks are bringing us Astro Disco at One Last Shag 348 Franklin Ave (bet Greene & Lexington). We will be continuing the Love Saturday night with Shades & Friends. We’ve invited our performance artist, poet and burlesque friends to create a big ole Love Fest. There will be raffles both nights with prizes donated from Toys in Babeland, champagne, free dance classes & more. But fret not if you don’t win we will have Toy Closet NYC on hand selling sexy fun toys for you to take home with you. Sweet Lorraine has also been hand making pasties so you can buy them and add them to your bag of tricks! On Facebook or Pinterest? Check us out! See you this weekend Get Tickets Today! !!!ANNOUNCEMENT!!! ========== I’ve been chosen as one of 20 performers from around the world to compete in the 2013 Milan Burlesque Awards. I’ll only get there with a little help from my friends. So, my team and I are organizing an Indiegogo campaign for the cause. Be on the look out. Any donations made by you will be tax-deductible to the fullest extent of the law. If you can’t give, it’s free to share. We’ll appreciate you helping to spread the word. I’ll be teaching a group sensual dance and “bootytweraerobics” class as part of Brown Girls Burlesque’s Bed-Stuy Burlesque series at Sacred Yoga 197 Clifton Place (Near Bedford Ave) in Brooklyn March 6th, 6:30pm – 7:45pm If you want the full 2 hour group session the next one will be on March 8th at Cap 21 Studios 18 w18th Street (between 5th & 6th Ave) in NYC! I am also available for private classes, parties & events. Contact Me and we will make it happen!        MUCH LOVE & LIGHT TO YOU FROM ME, Essence Revealed

The Daily Musto on Burlesque

Read the Daily Musto article here:

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/dailymusto/2013/01/nuit_blanche_we.php

Dances of Vice: Nuit Blanche, Jazz Age Burlesque from Nishell Falcone on Vimeo.

ESSENCE REVEALED - Essence Revealed is first generation Bajan born & raised in Boston.  She got her BFA at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts and MA at NYU’s Steinhardt School of Education.  Her writing has appeared places such as $pread Magazine, Corset Magazine, BurlesqueBible.com and 21st Century Burlesque.  She now performs & teaches nationally and internationally both solo and as a member of Brown Girls Burlesque.  Her favorite thing to do besides reading is to lay on the beach in Barbados to rest up for a night of calypso dancing.  Help Essence get to the Milan Burlesque Awards!

Vibrator Review

I’ve been living in NY for quite some time now.  This is my first vibrator review.  Anytime I wanted to get a new sex toy I’d just dip into one of the many sex shops open all hours of the day and night.  At an erotic poetry event that I had performed in recently I met Janine.  I mentioned to her that I was doing a show called Shades of Burlesque and Shades & Friends.  I also half jokingly mentioned that I’d love to review products for quality assurance purposes only, of course.  She will be selling her goodies at both shows AND I got a product to test out.  Ya know, because I care about the people that deeply

This is the first time I’ve had one delivered to my door via mail.  It was really nice to have a discretely packaged toy handed over to me.  I loved having that secret from the delivery person.  The toy I got was called the Heavenly Heart.  It is Water Proof people!  Fun, fun, fun!!!  I thought the heart design was really nice.  Let’s be honest, not everyone wants a phallic looking toy.  The ten speed/pulse pattern options are a definite win in my book.  Sometimes, a lady likes to meander towards the road to the big O for a bigger, more intense pay off so to speak .  It takes a double A battery which is easily found everywhere.  I’ve had vibes with watch batteries and that it not as convenient to replace quickly.  Ever had that awkward moment when the battery dies mid session?  No?  Only me.  Fine.  I hear tell there are even  rechargeable vibes out there.  Sounds like a great idea, right?

The only cons I can come up with is that the battery is not included.  I opened the box ready to do my *ahem* work and alas no starter battery was in there.  Luckily,  I had an extra double A battery on hand or I would have had to raid a remote control.  The other con is that I thought that some of the pulse patterns could use a bit more power.  However, that is a personal preference, isn’t it?  It may be the perfect intensity for others.

Go check out the Toy Closet to find the Heavenly Heart vibe and more!

As I mentioned earlier The Toy Closet will have tables of goodies on sale at Shades and Shades & Friends on Feb 15th & 16th at WOW Cafe Theater.  Get tickets in advance for $15/$20 at the door.  Showtime is 9pm for both nights.

ESSENCE REVEALED - Essence Revealed is first generation Bajan born & raised in Boston.  She got her BFA at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts and MA at NYU’s Steinhardt School of Education.  Her writing has appeared places such as $pread Magazine, Corset Magazine, BurlesqueBible.com and 21st Century Burlesque.  She now performs & teaches nationally and internationally both solo and as a member of Brown Girls Burlesque.  Her favorite thing to do besides reading is to lay on the beach in Barbados to rest up for a night of calypso dancing.

VALENTINE’S DAY WEEKEND: SHADES OF BURLESQUE and SHADES & FRIENDS

Shades of Burlesque NYC’s only all Black Burlesque Show @ WOW CAFE THEATER Feb 15th 9PM

WHAT ARE YOU DOING VALENTINE’S DAY WEEKEND?  

Shades & Friends at WOW Cafe Theater Feb 16th 9pm

Tickets are on sale now!  Buy them early to take advantage of the early love bird discount

Are You on Facebook?  Here is the event page!

Check Out Our Beauty Filled Pinterest Board!

ESSENCE REVEALED - Essence Revealed is first generation Bajan born & raised in Boston.  She got her BFA at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts and MA at NYU’s Steinhardt School of Education.  Her writing has appeared places such as $pread Magazine, Corset Magazine, BurlesqueBible.com and 21st Century Burlesque.  She now performs & teaches nationally and internationally both solo and as a member of Brown Girls Burlesque.  Her favorite thing to do besides reading is to lay on the beach in Barbados to rest up for a night of calypso dancing.

Overcoming Jealousy

What needs to happen within when overcoming jealousy?  I remember what it feels like to have the feeling wash over me at times.  Yet, I’ve never truly understood jealousy because being in a relationship does not render the rest of the universe unattractive.  Yet, I hear over and over again from some people that they find it disrespectful to have their partner look at another person.  Let’s say your walking down the street with your significant other.  A beautiful human comes walking along.  Guy/gal busts their brain cells to look not right, not left but straight ahead.  Guy/gal fails and instant argument ensues.  Accusations of disrespect are thrown.  I never quite understood how acknowledging another person’s physical beauty could in any way shape or form be disrespectful to an entire relationship.  The sum total of a relationship has got to hold more weight than that, right?

I wonder if jealous people believed without a shadow of a doubt that they are an amazing partner, the jealousy would still play itself out in this way?  I have long felt like I make a really great girlfriend.  I don’t say this to sound arrogant or conceited.  Knowing this does not mean thinking I’m perfect.  In fact, it means that I am very in touch with my imperfections so I work on myself as much as possible.  There may be moments where I feel jealousy.  However, what I do is check in with myself before I react.  Usually jealousy, in my case, means I feel threatened by the attention my partner is giving elsewhere.  Often, it is my ego feeling bruised for not consuming ALL of my partner’s attention.  I make it about me and my worth or the lack there of.

Jealousy in myself is seldom the cause or fault of anything that someone outside of me did.  It is usually a moment of insecurity.  That is for me to deal with.  It is not something I think deserves an argument.  It is not my partner’s job to make sure my self-esteem tank is on full.  If someone is going to leave, they are going to leave.  There isn’t enough “guard dogging” in the world that  can prevent it.  In fact, it may push them too it when it had never been an initial goal.  I know, I’ve had the experience of feeling like if I was going to be constantly accused and have arguments about it all the time, well, mind as well go ahead to justify the stress.

Usually, the check in leads me to remember that the way I am in relationship with people is something valuable.  There is no room for feelings of jealousy after that.  My inner self gets a little swagger: “Go ahead, let ‘em try to find another you.  I promise you, you’re a rare gem .”  Then all becomes right sized in my world.  How could I possibly think something like looking at another beautiful person speaks in any way about my worth in a relationship?  It cannot.

I REALLY want to hear what people who think jealousy in relationships is justified have to say.  So, what say you?

ESSENCE REVEALED - Essence Revealed is first generation Bajan born & raised in Boston.  She got her BFA at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts and MA at NYU’s Steinhardt School of Education.  Her writing has appeared places such as $pread Magazine, Corset Magazine, BurlesqueBible.com and 21st Century Burlesque.  She now performs & teaches nationally and internationally both solo and as a member of Brown Girls Burlesque.  Her favorite thing to do besides reading is to lay on the beach in Barbados to rest up for a night of calypso dancing.