Dating Women

Romantic Dinner

Well, actually, this is about the first date I ever went on with a woman as opposed to dating women in general.

The date was simple. We went to dinner at a very nice restaurant that she chose. She made the reservations. She took care of all the details.  All I knew was how I needed to be dressed & what time to arrive where.  Ahhh, sometimes it’s so nice to have it all taken care of & just to have to show up.  There was none of the “What do you want to do? I dunno, what do you want to do?” game played. I despise that game whether dating a man or woman.  Just pick already! Take charge!  And she did.  I love dinner as a date because a) I LOVE Food & b) We have no choice but pay attention to each other (smartphones weren’t a big thing then either).  So much can be learned from someone at a meal if it is a new relationship.  It’s a great way to relax, be catered to by wait staff  & enjoy each other if it’s a more established relationship.  We had a great time talking, cracking jokes, being flirty & sharing thoughts.


After dinner we went for a walk.  Hand in hand, we roamed around Manhattan continuing the conversation.  My stomach bubbled with butterflies from holding another woman’s hand in public.  But then I gave myself a pep talk: I went to art school, we held hands, laid all over &  massaged each other often. I got this! I felt a sudden wetness between my legs. “Whoa, am I that turned on?”, was my initial thought. We stopped somewhere so that I could use the rest room. The wetness was not excitement. It was my period. Ugh, *Sigh*. I told her when I got back to her. She said, “Let’s go to my place.” I agreed & we walked to her apartment. She sat me down & told me to wait. I had no idea what I was waiting for. Being on a date with a woman was a brand new experience so the unknown was exciting. After a few moments, she takes me by the hand, leading me to the bathroom.  It’s filled with small, white scented candles.  Steam from the warm shower fills the air.  I turn around to face her with probably the goofiest smile ever.  She shows me a fresh towel folded in the corner waiting for me.  “Enjoy”, she says before leaving me to my warm, candle lit shower.  Is this real life?

3 candles

I get out of the shower wrapped in the fresh towel.  She walks me over to her room which has tall, white, seven-day candles lit all around the edges of the room.  She gives me shorts, a t-shirt & invites me to lay down. I do. She leaves again. When she returns she has a hot cup of tea. “Do you want ibuprofen?”, she asks. Convinced that I am in a dream I nod yes. She gives me both. After sipping the tea, I lay back down. Why is it that the pain from cramps waits until your eyes have seen the blood to begin? I was fine when I thought I was just excited. She lays down with me.  We spoon and she rubs my stomach until I fall asleep.

This is what hotel bathrooms look like with a ...

I woke up hours later and looked around. The candles were still there though burned markedly lower. This really happened.

ESSENCE REVEALED – Essence Revealed is first generation Bajan born & raised in Boston.  She got her BFA at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts and MA at NYU’s Steinhardt School of Education.  Her writing has appeared places such as $pread Magazine, Corset Magazine, and 21st Century Burlesque.  She now performs & teaches nationally and internationally both solo and as a member of Brown Girls Burlesque.  Her favorite thing to do besides reading is to lay on the beach in Barbados to rest up for a night of calypso dancing.  Help Essence get to the Milan Burlesque Awards!

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