Hey Happy 2014!!! I see that I’ve gotten several new blog followers *waves*! Come join me at http://www.theessencerevealed.com/blog to see new blog posts 🙂
I am prepping some cool blogs & new pictures from my European adventure, a new product review from Toy Closet which I am so excited about (who comes up with this stuff???), classes, discussions about the world of sex, sensuality & sexuality and more.
I’m giving you all here one of the first heads up 😀 Thanks for hanging out with me over here.
Go ahead and get signed up on the mailing list and join the RSS feed so you don’t miss a beat!
ESSENCE REVEALED – Essence Revealed is first generation Bajan born & raised in Boston. She got her BFA at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts and MA at NYU’s Steinhardt School of Education. Her writing has appeared places such as $pread Magazine, Corset Magazine, BurlesqueBible.com and 21st Century…
I am prepping some cool blogs & new pictures from my European adventure, a new product review from Toy Closet which I am so excited about (who comes up with this stuff???), classes, discussions about the world of sex, sensuality & sexuality and more.
I’m giving you all here one of the first heads up 😀 Thanks for hanging out with me over here.
Go ahead and get signed up on the mailing list and join the RSS feed so you don’t miss a beat!
ESSENCE REVEALED – Essence Revealed is first generation Bajan born & raised in Boston. She got her BFA at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts and MA at NYU’s Steinhardt School of Education. Her writing has appeared places such as $pread Magazine, Corset Magazine, BurlesqueBible.com and 21st Century Burlesque. She’s been published in three anthologies: Pros(e), Prose & Lore 2, & Johns, Marks, Tricks & Chicken Hawks. She now performs & teaches nationally and internationally both solo and with Sweet Spot. Her favorite thing to do besides reading is to lay on the beach in Barbados to rest up for a night of calypso dancing.
!!!!THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!
That’s me shimmying in gratitude & appreciation! We met the Indiegogo Goal over the weekend :-D!!!
There are ONLY 28 HOURS left to donate.
I know there are things on my to do list I’ve been trying to get to for a few weeks now. So, this is a gentle reminder that if you were planning on giving, you only have hours left to do it. Gah head and get it out the way 😉 because airline prices have gone way up since I researched 45 days ago.
This is the last update and I truly just wanted to take the time to say Thank You for helping me to practice the lessons of receiving as well as asking. These are concepts that I understand intellectually, but that make me feel truly outside of my comfort zone in practical application. The encouragement & support I got during this campaign has pushed me through another level of growth. For that I will be eternally grateful.
ESSENCE REVEALED – Essence Revealed is first generation Bajan born & raised in Boston. She got her BFA at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts and MA at NYU’s Steinhardt School of Education. Her writing has appeared places such as $pread Magazine, Corset Magazine, BurlesqueBible.com and 21st Century Burlesque. She’s been published in two anthologies: Pros(e) & Johns, Marks, Tricks & Chicken Hawks. She now performs & teaches nationally and internationally both solo and as a member of Brown Girls Burlesque. Her favorite thing to do besides reading is to lay on the beach in Barbados to rest up for a night of calypso dancing. Help Essence get to the Milan Burlesque Awards!
Whew! Thank You all SO Much!!! With the donations that were given in person (Yes, I will come get the donation if you don’t like doing the online thing) and online, I am about halfway there with about a week to go!
If you could find a spare second to let people know it’s happening, I’d be so even more grateful than I already am (if that’s possible).
Support has come from some unexpected places. This weekend I performed on the Robin Byrd (of Debbie Does Dallas & Cable Access fame) Live Show & was given much love. 🙂 I could write all day about the people who have shared the link and helped me get the word out but I know you have a life to lead so here’s a short list:
Jimi of Gureje in Brooklyn hooked up some fashions so I can be fly in Milan.
Thanks to Corset Magazine The Go To Magazine For All Things Sexuality) for including me on their blog.
Twanna Hines the Funky Brown Chick, I thank you so much for the shout out.
Amy Jo Goddard (Justin “Bringing Sexy Back” Timberlake endorsed Sex Coach) big thanks for your support. She has a really cool FREE CALL CLASS TONIGHT April 23rd by the way!
ESSENCE REVEALED – Essence Revealed is first generation Bajan born & raised in Boston. She got her BFA at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts and MA at NYU’s Steinhardt School of Education. Her writing has appeared places such as $pread Magazine, Corset Magazine, BurlesqueBible.com and 21st Century Burlesque. She’s been published in two anthologies: Pros(e) & Johns, Marks, Tricks & Chicken Hawks. She now performs & teaches nationally and internationally both solo and as a member of Brown Girls Burlesque. Her favorite thing to do besides reading is to lay on the beach in Barbados to rest up for a night of calypso dancing. Help Essence get to the Milan Burlesque Awards!
ESSENCE REVEALED – Essence Revealed is first generation Bajan born & raised in Boston. She got her BFA at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts and MA at NYU’s Steinhardt School of Education. Her writing has appeared places such as $pread Magazine, Corset Magazine, BurlesqueBible.com and 21st Century Burlesque. She’s been published in two anthologies: Pros(e) & Johns, Marks, Tricks & Chicken Hawks. She now performs & teaches nationally and internationally both solo and as a member of Brown Girls Burlesque. Her favorite thing to do besides reading is to lay on the beach in Barbados to rest up for a night of calypso dancing. Help Essence get to the Milan Burlesque Awards!
I found out about the bomb at the marathon because a friend posted a link about it on my Facebook page. My parents are visiting the states from Barbados. They’re in Boston right now where I was born and raised. One of my best friends lives in Boston and does the kind of work that could bring him to the marathon. Another high-school friend from there is a photog and could be there covering the event. I still have friends that could potentially be at work near Copley also. Heck, I’d just been there for a gig on News Years Eve and walked around at a parade before heading to perform at the party (a now eerie memory).
All of these people flashed into my head at once. I called my parents first even though I was pretty sure they wouldn’t be anywhere near there. “Oh, we just got back from BJ’s,” my Mom’s voice assured me. I sent a double text to two close friends, put a post on fb & then clicked around to check on some people. Thanks to the power of social media, I knew all my people were alright in just a few short minutes.
It got me thinking though, were they not alright, I would have been a hot mess. I don’t really like talking on the phone. I’m a text-er. So, my Mom was recently giving me a hard time about calling so seldom. I haven’t spoken to/visited one of those friends in a long time. In New York, life is moving so fast. I am moving so fast. I am in love with almost everything I’m working on right now so I can get in the zone and stay there 12, 16 hours without pausing.
But yesterday served as a good reminder to me that I have to do better about connecting with my real life friends and family. My heart goes out to everyone who was down there. To even bear witness to something as awful as that has got to be painful.
Boston Skyline (Photo credit: brentdanley)
Why does it so often take some senseless tragedy for me to remember these things?
The moral of the blog (a note to self) is: Forget all the criticism about how the story is covered. Who did what right and/or wrong, etc. etc. etc. and Call your Mom and everyone close to you as often as you can while you can!
ESSENCE REVEALED – Essence Revealed is first generation Bajan born & raised in Boston. She got her BFA at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts and MA at NYU’s Steinhardt School of Education. Her writing has appeared places such as $pread Magazine, Corset Magazine, BurlesqueBible.com and 21st Century Burlesque. She’s been published in two anthologies: Pros(e) & Johns, Marks, Tricks & Chicken Hawks. She now performs & teaches nationally and internationally both solo and as a member of Brown Girls Burlesque. Her favorite thing to do besides reading is to lay on the beach in Barbados to rest up for a night of calypso dancing. Help Essence get to the Milan Burlesque Awards!
Asking for donations and receiving are challenges for myself and several creative people I know. Where to donate? So many causes so little time! I have been overwhelmingly humbled and gratitude filled by how many people have shared my campaign to get to the Milan Burlesque Awards on the Facebook pages and Twitter feeds, newsletters and more. This is my 100th blog post so, I decided to pay it forward and tell you all about three other campaigns that are also going on.
1) Heels on Wheels does amazing work all over the country bringing awareness to important issues in very entertaining and creative ways: shows, open mics and skill shares for example. NY-ers you’ll be able to get a taste of what they do because I’ll be performing with these ladies in NY on May 5th at Triskelion in Brooklyn.
2) Camera Ready Kutz has been inspiring me for decades with how industrious she is as a small biz owner. This barber shop has been among her most successful business ventures and it is ready to grow with a little help. Those of you who go to the barber shop especially know what a great experience being in the right one can be!
3) Urban Erotika has been creating spaces for adults to get sensual entertainment for a decade now. I had the pleasure of performing at their 10th Anniversary show. Now they want to document the 10 years of luscious.
ESSENCE REVEALED – Essence Revealed is first generation Bajan born & raised in Boston. She got her BFA at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts and MA at NYU’s Steinhardt School of Education. Her writing has appeared places such as $pread Magazine, Corset Magazine, BurlesqueBible.com and 21st Century Burlesque. She’s been published in two anthologies: Pros(e) & Johns, Marks, Tricks & Chicken Hawks. She now performs & teaches nationally and internationally both solo and as a member of Brown Girls Burlesque. Her favorite thing to do besides reading is to lay on the beach in Barbados to rest up for a night of calypso dancing. Help Essence get to the Milan Burlesque Awards!
Trigger Warning! This is about sexual assault awareness month. RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) is an amazing support resource. Click here to link to their site and 24 hour hotlines.
The month of April is national what month? April is the awareness month of many things I wish we didn’t need to raise awareness about month. This week is Street Harassment Awareness Week. This month is National STI’s Education and Awareness Month, National Child Abuse Prevention Month, Mental Health Month, Sexual Abuse Awareness Month. It is also the month that I was born in. Last year I collaborated with Audacia Ray of Red Umbrella Project and co-curated a Red Umbrella Diary story telling night with the theme Survivors. This was the first time I (and many of the speakers that night) spoke publicly about being a survivors of sexual abuse. I gifted myself freedom from the silence for my birthday. There were many reasons why I never wanted to talk about it out loud. I least of all wanted to talk about it within the context of also having been a stripper. It was a long journey for me to get to a place where I realized that there would be a whole lot more sex workers if sexual abuse was the cause. Every TWO minutes someone is sexually assaulted in the US.
However, this year has shown us just how much awareness is still needed. Watching the various news reports about the rape and sexual abuse cases (that actually made the news) hurt. Seeing the reactions to the stories also hurt. In one social media timeline discussion a female poster actually said “it was only fingers” (in reply to the guilty verdict found in the Steubenville Rape Case). It’s as if having someone violate your body with “only fingers” makes sexual assault excusable. Could she imagine this being done to her and shrugging it off? What about to her daughter or son, niece or nephew? Let us not forget males can also be victims of sexual abuse. I tried without being able to adequately explain to a partner, once, why I didn’t tell. Reactions like this are a part of it. There is still very much a way in which the victims of sexual assault are blamed. The victim is made to feel responsible in some way shape or form. There was alcohol involved, she was dressed to skimpy, she willingly was alone with him/them, etc.
The rape culture we exist in insists on having victims of sexual abuse believe it is their fault. In some way, shape or form, the victim is often shamed into silence. This silence stunts the journey towards healing and surviving. I wish I could scream it loud enough for even unborn children to hear:
IT COULD NEVER, EVER, EVER BE YOUR FAULT!!!
Would I could be in the mindset of my now, yet another year older self, comforting and supporting my then unknowing younger self. Tell. Report it. Break the silence until you get support. It’s not so easy to be that strong when you are sexually violated. It’s even harder when you are young. It remains a battle in our society to find the strength to do so. I cannot say/write it better than Melissa Harris-Perry. See/hear Melissa Harris-Perry’s words here.
April is also National Poetry Month so, I leave you with this message from an amazing poet, Staceyann Chin:
ESSENCE REVEALED – Essence Revealed is first generation Bajan born & raised in Boston. She got her BFA at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts and MA at NYU’s Steinhardt School of Education. Her writing has appeared places such as $pread Magazine, Corset Magazine, BurlesqueBible.com and 21st Century Burlesque & been published in 3 anthologies: Pros(e), Prose & Lore 2, & Johns, Marks, Tricks & Chicken Hawks. She now performs & teaches nationally and internationally. Her favorite thing to do besides reading is to lay on the beach in Barbados to rest up for a night of calypso dancing.
Well, actually, this is about the first date I ever went on with a woman as opposed to dating women in general.
The date was simple. We went to dinner at a very nice restaurant that she chose. She made the reservations. She took care of all the details. All I knew was how I needed to be dressed & what time to arrive where. Ahhh, sometimes it’s so nice to have it all taken care of & just to have to show up. There was none of the “What do you want to do? I dunno, what do you want to do?” game played. I despise that game whether dating a man or woman. Just pick already! Take charge! And she did. I love dinner as a date because a) I LOVE Food & b) We have no choice but pay attention to each other (smartphones weren’t a big thing then either). So much can be learned from someone at a meal if it is a new relationship. It’s a great way to relax, be catered to by wait staff & enjoy each other if it’s a more established relationship. We had a great time talking, cracking jokes, being flirty & sharing thoughts.
After dinner we went for a walk. Hand in hand, we roamed around Manhattan continuing the conversation. My stomach bubbled with butterflies from holding another woman’s hand in public. But then I gave myself a pep talk: I went to art school, we held hands, laid all over & massaged each other often. I got this! I felt a sudden wetness between my legs. “Whoa, am I that turned on?”, was my initial thought. We stopped somewhere so that I could use the rest room. The wetness was not excitement. It was my period. Ugh, *Sigh*. I told her when I got back to her. She said, “Let’s go to my place.” I agreed & we walked to her apartment. She sat me down & told me to wait. I had no idea what I was waiting for. Being on a date with a woman was a brand new experience so the unknown was exciting. After a few moments, she takes me by the hand, leading me to the bathroom. It’s filled with small, white scented candles. Steam from the warm shower fills the air. I turn around to face her with probably the goofiest smile ever. She shows me a fresh towel folded in the corner waiting for me. “Enjoy”, she says before leaving me to my warm, candle lit shower. Is this real life?
I get out of the shower wrapped in the fresh towel. She walks me over to her room which has tall, white, seven-day candles lit all around the edges of the room. She gives me shorts, a t-shirt & invites me to lay down. I do. She leaves again. When she returns she has a hot cup of tea. “Do you want ibuprofen?”, she asks. Convinced that I am in a dream I nod yes. She gives me both. After sipping the tea, I lay back down. Why is it that the pain from cramps waits until your eyes have seen the blood to begin? I was fine when I thought I was just excited. She lays down with me. We spoon and she rubs my stomach until I fall asleep.
I woke up hours later and looked around. The candles were still there though burned markedly lower. This really happened.
ESSENCE REVEALED – Essence Revealed is first generation Bajan born & raised in Boston. She got her BFA at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts and MA at NYU’s Steinhardt School of Education. Her writing has appeared places such as $pread Magazine, Corset Magazine, BurlesqueBible.com and 21st Century Burlesque. She now performs & teaches nationally and internationally both solo and as a member of Brown Girls Burlesque. Her favorite thing to do besides reading is to lay on the beach in Barbados to rest up for a night of calypso dancing. Help Essence get to the Milan Burlesque Awards!
Essence Revealed 